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Top Ten Most Annoying Game Characters

If you've played Ocarina Of Time, you've had this dream.

 

Being an annoying video game character is not an accomplishment. This is akin to being that guy who thought trolling meant being an ass to any and everyone, and inadvertently getting his beat on a daily basis. The following are at the top of the list for the next scheduled kicking.

10. Dan Hibiki

 

Origin: Street Fighter Alpha

Dan Hibiki’s entire existence is based on uselessness. From the start he was designed to be nothing more than a joke character, and literally all his mannerisms reflect this. From his absolutely useless special moves, to the most embarrassing taunts known to man, the only reason anyone would ever use him is to shut up a loudmouth rookie. Because after all, losing to Dan would be like losing to your dead cat.

 

9. Oerba Dia Vanille

Origin: Final Fantasy XIII

I personally love Vanille and her desu desu look. The problem most people find with her… are just a lot. Mostly to her early game uselessness to her voice which can’t decide which part of the world it’s from. But in the end she does save the entire planet, so its cool, right? No? Okay, moving on.

8. Masked Muscle

 

Origin: Super Punch Out

Masked Muscle is unique in that in a game about boxing, he gets to absolutely break damn near every rule in the sweet science known to man. He will gladly headbutt you onto the mat, but the most aggravating part is the fact that the trainer blatantly yells at him to spit in your eye, he does this, and the ever present referee does nothing. Apparently the underground boxing league has its own rules.

 

7.  Slippy Toad

Origin: Star Fox Series

Slippy Toad in Star Fox is that guy in the team who you just know is only there because he’s best friends with the leader, which surprises me because his voice is slightly above listening to cheese being grated. In almost every one of his appearances, Slippy always needs help from something. I’m utterly amazed that he has not yet been shot down in a fiery explosion. It only takes one level for Slippy’s cries of help to grate into your soul, again, just like cheese.

 

 

6. Eddy Gordo

Origin: Tekken 3

Heres is a cold hard fact about Eddy Gordo. If you use him, you suck. Eddy(and to a much lesser extent, Christie Monteiro) is the only character in tekken that absolutely exists only for button mashers. In a button mashing game. It does matter how much your practice, master every move, and compile the best combos. If your opponent chose Eddy, you have already lost.

 

5. Noob Saibot

 

Origin: Mortal Kombat 2

A bigger tier on the cheap character league is Noob Saibot. Not the borderline unbeatable version in Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. This time I mean the Noob from MK9. Everyone remembers the first time they fought a Noob spammer. The match loads, and the first thing they do is spam his clone tackle. But you wise up, and jump over them. Then right when you get close enough to strike, he kicks in the face with another clone. Then you go to plan 3, block and slowly inch forward. Of course, you immediately get hit with a clone slide,making you effectively unable to do anything.

Then, just to be a douche, he rips you in half, and you die a little inside.

4. Ashley Graham

 

Origin: Resident Evil 4

Ashley is one of the few video game characters who enters and finishes a game as absolutely useless as she was when she first appeared. Her entire purpose consists of getting kidnapped while your fighting off evil villagers, prompting you to restart because she got kidnapped while you were trying to kill the guy with the chainsaw. The fact that she will be playable in Resident Evil 6 will result in a lot of  “accidents” for our unfortunate co-op partner.

3. The Dog

 

Not to be confused with Dog the Bounty Hunter

Origin: Duck Hunt

You. You evil excuse for friendship.

The Dog in Duck Hunt loves nothing more than to ridicule you. Its entire purpose is to make you feel horrible when you screw up. In other words, someone transformed you overbearing parents and put them in a game where they will laugh at you if you fail a simple task. In others words, this game should have been called “The Teen Years.”

2. Navi

Origin: HEY! Ocarina Of LISTEN! Time

Does this one HEY! even need LISTEN! an introduction?

HEY! Navi has something LISTEN! to tell you, and HEY! God help you if you try to LISTEN! ignore her. Every HEY! person who’s LISTEN! ever played Ocarina HEY! of Time has very LISTEN! explicit fantasies of HEY! setting her annoying fairy wings LISTEN! ablaze.

 

 

1. Moira Brown

Origin: Fallout 3

The difference between everyone else on this list and Moira is that most of them actually cares about your well-being. Moira browns cheerful disposition hides a woman who could not give a flying fallout about whether or not you survive the absurd tasks she sends you on.

From looking for food in an abandoned super market filled with raiders to infiltrating the breeding grounds of crab people, everything about her seems dedicated to killing you. The one that takes the cake, however, is where her specific instructions are to get injured to the point of being crippled. Yes, you read that correctly. Your objective is to find someone to beat the unholy hell out of you to the point one of your limbs are crippled.

Finally, a game for the sadomasochistic demographic.

Thanks to all of my fellow staff for helping me compile a few of the entries.

Agree? Disagree? Kind of semi-agree but also disagree to a lesser extent? Feel free to rage in the comments.

2 Comments

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  1. John H. says
    April 9, 2012, 9:15 AM

    Gotta put Ashley at #1, ugh what a pain in the ass. I enjoy just shooting her when she is locked up against the wall. Checkpoint right before, i think they did that on purpose.

    Reply
  2. Ahmed says
    March 12, 2012, 6:13 PM

    Couldn’t agree more with #1. My Fallout 3 experienced, entirely summed up.

    Reply

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