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Top Ten Hardest Bosses


The boss in video games are designed to be  challenge, I get that. They’re alsosupposed to test our skills; There are few things sadder than a boss getting one-shotted. But on the opposite of that spectrum, are bosses that really,really don’t like the idea of losing to some pudgy human. The following are ten bosses that will not go down without a fight.*

*One per franchise, only games I’ve played. Except numbers 2, because his appearance on this list is not from his native franchise.

10. Psycho Mantis

Origin: Metal Gear Solid(1998)

Psycho Mantis earned a spot on this list for using strategies absolutely unheard of in video gaming at the time. When was the last time a boss made you think you somehow changed the channel, read your memory card, and forced you to win by changing the controller port? If there is literally anyone, let me know. For the time being, Psycho Mantis holds this spot nicely.

9. Darth Malak

Also, Darth Baldy

Origin: Star Wars: Knights Of The Old Republic(2003)

I’m a firm believer in that Knights Of The Old Republic is the greatest single-player Star Wars game of all time. The customization and leveling were excellent, the story had the greatest plot twist known to gaming …and then you got to Darth Malak, and your soul was crushed.

Darth Malak is infinitely better than you in every way possible. Almost all of your force powers have no effect, and you do not want to go one-on-one with him in a saber duel. The only reason I was able to beat him was by running away and chipping at his health with force choke. Which, in the end, wasn’t very rewarding, because it just basically confirmed that Darth Malak is better than me.

8. Lou

Origin: Guitar Hero III(2007)

Lou is better than you. He knows this, and he will gladly make sure you know this the first time you duel him. Flat-out, Lou does not mess up. The only way you can ever win is by hoping you get better power-ups and attacks than he does.

And I hope you don’t lose, because if you do, he will make you aware of it.

7.  RAAM

Origin: Gears Of War(2006)

Anything in a shooting game that carries a turret with its bare-hands and uses a shield of bulletproof flesh-eating bats is not what one would define as fair. RAAM(pronounced rahm) on insane was a killer on my triggers and thumbsticks.

You start the fight cornered, so at some point you have to run past his instakill bats and somehow get to the other side, while hopefully not getting killed by the giant flying monsters taking potshots at you in the background. The weirdest part? I was playing on an insane with a random, and he threw a grenade. RAAM was killed immediately.

6.  Mike Tyson

Origin: Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!(1987)

There is no such thing as a hardest boss list without Mike Tyson. Almost all of his punches are insta-ko, and can only be dodged with the most absolute precision the human body can muster. He also has to be knocked down six times in order to stay down, which is really unfair, because  your out cold after three.

The worst part about this after the fight, because when you lose, your ass goes right back to the beginning, making you fight all of the boxers over again.

5.  Goro

 

Origin: Mortal Kombat(1992)

Everyone remembers their first time fighting Goro. Everyone also remembers the first time Goro grabbed them and began hammering their face, which took away 40% health minimum every time. Amongst all the bosses in the MK series- Onaga, Kintaro, Motaro, Blaze- Goro stands above them all, because he was the one who began almost everyone’s love for the Mortal Kombat series.

He’s also to date been the sub-boss in the most MK games. All of the time we’ve spent being utterly smashed by him only made his apparent ‘death’ during Deadly Alliance that more sickening.

4.  Vergil

Origin: Devil May Cry 3(2005)

I’m not talking about “normal” difficulty Vergil. I’m talking about “Dante Must Die” difficulty Vergil. For those who don’t know, on Dante Must Die, Every enemy becomes a bullet sponge, and Dante takes extreme damage, even against weaker enemies.

This is seriously multiplied against Vergil. Almost all of his attacks are fast and  lethal,  making the act of winning more enjoyable than the fight itself. Its one of the only times I’ve ever had to cheat to win against a final boss(Infinite Devil Trigger = Mass Destruction).

3. Seth

Origin: Super Street Fighter IV(2009)

I don’t care what anyone has to say; Seth is the cheapest/ most unfair fighting game boss I have ever played against. Lowest health in the game or not, that doesn’t change the fact that he has the best moves from the best characters in the game. It becomes worse in the second round, where his strategy becomes teleport/piledriver. It’s so blindingly fast there is almost no way to counter it. This man is the reason few people have seen their favorite character’s ending.

2. Sephiroth

Origin: Final Fantasy VII(1997)

While it says, FFVII in the Origin header, I’m actually referring to Kingdom Hearts-1 era Sephiroth. Sephiroth is the hardest boss in the game for a reason, and he will gleefully remind you.

He’s so high on this list mainly because of ‘Sin Harvest’- an attack that leaves you with 1 HP and no magic. This is almost always followed by an immediate sword slash, which always an instant KO.If your not at least close to level 100 before hand, he will slice you to ribbons.  Kurt Zisa and Phantom may have been difficult, but Sephiroth was damn-near impossible.

1. Yiazmat

 

Origin: Final Fantasy XII(2006)

Yiazmat is the strongest monster in the entirety of the Final Fantasy Universe. And no, I’m not using hyperbole. Yiazmat had 50 health bars(Sephiroth had 5 in KH1, and 15 in KH2), worth a total of 50,112,254 hit points. As of this writing, that is the most HP of any given superboss,or monster for that mater, in Final Fantasy.

It also takes an average of four hours to defeat. Thats four man-hours of your life you will not get back, especially when you inevitably lose ten minutes in on your first try. Whats worse, Yiazmat will not make this easy for you. All of its attack have a five percent chance of causing instant death, which may not sound like a lot in retrospect, but that combined with its ability to chain combos up to twelve, which means 5% has instead become %60. Or if gets lazy, it’ll just cast death strike and kill one party member, or cast Cyclone and wipe out your entire team. Combine all of that with the fact that at 50% health(assuming you make it  that far) your damage is capped at 6,999. All of this combines for the most drawn-out, difficult, yet so rewarding boss battle in the history of video games.

Obviously, because I limited this list to games I’ve played, did I happen to miss one of your favorites? By all means, remind me in the comment section.

8 Comments

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  1. MaulYoda says
    April 18, 2012, 1:48 PM

    Hahaha, I did the same thing with Darth Malak, except I did it with mines. He really was overpowered though; he shouldn’t be THAT much trouble if your character is at the highest level (which mine was)

    Lou was a bitch also. Good list

    Reply
  2. James W says
    April 17, 2012, 5:40 PM

    You say this as if I haven’t tried that already 😛

    And I stand by my original post, since with the FFVII iteration of Sephiroth, there is no where to run. With KH you can at least dodge his attacks.

    Reply
    • Allan S says
      April 17, 2012, 10:19 PM

      “No where to run” It’s a turn based RPG, of course there is no where to run. And really, how can a final boss be all that hard if you can get in 4 hits with each party member between his attacks. I was able to kill him before he could unleash “Supernova” (Which I notice is just a “Fallen One” type of attack).

      Reply
  3. James W says
    April 5, 2012, 9:26 AM

    @ Canneddirt, I didn’t realize we were here to criticize the author’s grammar.

    The list seems pretty legit, but I can guarantee you the Sephiroth from FFVII is a bigger pain in the ass than the Sephiroth in KH. Yiazmat was one of the meanest mothers to beat in FFXII. I remember killing him then thinking…”I have nothing left to do…..this sucks!!” Good article.

    Reply
    • Allan S says
      April 5, 2012, 5:13 PM

      “but I can guarantee you the Sephiroth from FFVII is a bigger pain in the ass than the Sephiroth in KH.”

      I’ll contest that. Sephiroth in FFVII was a push over. Cast Slow on him. For greater effect, cast Haste on yourself.

      Reply
  4. Allan S says
    March 17, 2012, 9:26 PM

    Sephiroth isn’t all that hard. I beat him at around Level 50 (It’s been a long time since I’ve played Kingdom Hearts so I don’t know the exact level). How to beat him: Second Wind, MP Rage and Curaga on shortcut. With Second Wind, he will NEVER kill you in one hit, Curaga to heal the when you do get hit, and MP Rage so that you will NEVER run out of MP.

    To avoid Sin Harvest just attack him when he starts. He’s not invulnerable and you will interrupt him. When I defeated him, he was only able to pull Sin Harvest off ONCE!

    Also, this list seems very vacant when it comes to the Old School. You got Mike Tyson, but no Dracula? Ninja Gaiden doesn’t get a mention. Also, absolutely NO Shin Megami Tensei game?

    Reply
    • Canneddirt says
      March 21, 2012, 6:10 PM

      Well, the writer appears to be fairly young. And sin of all sins…keeps using “your” in place of “you’re” for the contraction of “you are.” Sigh…thanks for nothing, American public schools!

      Reply
      • Allan S says
        March 28, 2012, 4:16 PM

        I’m dyslexic. If I don’t have a spellchecker you will see a LOT of spelling and grammatical errors in my writing.

        Reply

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