Login
 
RSS Feed Twitter Facebook YouTube

Top Ten Skyrim Moments

 

Lets get one thing clear: There are billions of epic moments in Skyrim. This is list is really just the trimmed down opinion of someone with more than 100 hours logged in.  I’ve slain dragons, battled the undead in the dankest of crypts, and on a slightly less epic scale, played tag with a little girl. Everyone has their favorite memories exploring Northern Tamriel. Here are mine.

Oh, and obvious spoilers.

10: The End Of Helgen

So your about to be executed! What did you do? Steal a horse? Murder a king? Fire an arrow into an unfortunate adventurer’s knee? It matters not, because all three of you are going to die today anyway! At this point, nothing short of a dragon attack would prevent your head from rolling. But whats the chance that-

Oh shit. Thats exactly what happens.

Your life is saved by the absolute luckiest turn of events since the OJ Simpson trial(yeah, I went there.). What follows is a breakneck run through Helgen, barely escaping the wrath of Alduin’s inferno. When you look back, right as you begin to walk away, you see the true, terrifying power of the Dovah.

9: Sanguinare Vampiris

So now your exploring a cave, feeling like a boss after your near-fatal encounter with a dragon. You find a good-sized cave and begin adventuring. At the end of the journey are two vampires. One of them goes down easy, but the other one gets a shot in, and you don’t catch this pop up on your screen:

“You have contracted Sanguinare Vampiris”

 

If you’re like me, you go “lolwut?,” chug a potion of cure disease and keep the good times rolling. You ignore messages like ” The sunlight makes your vampire blood boil.” and the civilians commenting on your paleness.

Then, four days later, you are swarmed by every living soul in the first town you visit. And to make thing better, you visited in the daytime, so you’re seriously crippled.

And that, is right about the time you load your last save.

8 Lycanthropy

Okay, you’ve reloaded your last save, and decided you’ll have better luck trying to join the Companions than going it alone. You kill some spiders, make some friends, and soon you’re invited to join the “Inner Circle.” You step into the underforge, ready for your prize.

A few minutes later, your swallowing someone’s blood and growing fur in places there should not be fur.

 

Unlike vampirism, there are almost no drawbacks to this. You get to run around super fast, eviscerate the bandit who just tried to mug you, and roar at the world, sending everyone scurrying in fear. Make no mistake, being a were in Skyrim is oh so satisfying.

7: The First Enchantment

So now your were-self keeps getting ganked by some troll sitting under a bridge.  You decide you need a better weapon. Unfortunately, you spent all your money on ale and venison steak. What you do have, however, is an old iron longsword, an electrified warhammer, and something called a soul gem.

After finding an enchanting table, you craft a grand blade, sharp and shocking to the enemy. You deem this mighty blade “FuckBitchesGetMoney’, and slay the dragon plaguing Whiterun, the first of many epic kills.

Aside from the occasional recharging, nothing is stopping you! Just you and FBGM against the world!

Except, you know, your companions.

6:  Death Of A Companion

 

With a fully charged FBGM, you and your faithful assistant Lydia seek the troll that did you wrong. The battle was one for the history books, with heavy blows landing on each side. In the end, the troll is on the defensive, but right before you can deal the killing blow, Lydia charges ahead and catches the business end of FBGM on her back. The blow is too much, and Lydia falls.

The loneliness hits you immediately. Every one ‘accidentally’ kills Lydia, and handles it in their own special way. I laid her blade across her corpse, one person carried her body to an altar, and this guy tried to bring her back,failed, and cried over her corpse.

 

Keep in mind, this is over an NPC.

5:  The Death Of Vittoria Vici

After taking your anger over the death of Lydia out on an evil old woman, you rest in a nearby inn. After some hijinks about some murder, a little girl who is also a vampire for some reason, and a little initiation into the Dark Brotherhood, you find yourself preparing the murder of the cousin of the Emperor of Tamriel.

True, you kill a lot of people in the Dark Brotherhood Questline, but this one stands out because not only are you killing a noble, you’re killing her on her wedding day.

Are you really that much of a douchebag?

Yes, yes you are. So you post up on the roof overlooking her balcony, nocking an arrow into your bow. She stands to give her speech. She is smiling. She is happy. Suddenly, your arrows cuts through the air, and it pierces her knee- erm, heart. The crowd gasps. You’ve begun the first of many deaths, one that will inevitably lead to the Emperor himself.

4:  Meeting Molag Bal

 

You figure, you’ve done something morally incomprehensible, so you decide to balance it out by helping someone investigate an abandoned house. In a matter of moments, your caught in a medievil version of The Exorcist. Chairs and jars fly throughout the air, and a demonic voice mocks you.

While you run in haphazard circles, more than likely soiling yourself, your friend decide he’s had enough of this shit, and takes his fear out on you. Of course, FBGM dashes his dreams rather quickly. What happens next sounds absurdly like something from, of all things, a SAW parody. The demonic voice orders you to bring an old priest to his hidden altar, so that he may capture his soul. And you agree, because you’ve admirably proven you can think for yourself so far.

Reminding you of the game’s M-rating, you are now tasked with beating the old man to death with a rusty mace. Again, you comply with no questions. After which you are rewarded with an enchanted rusty mace. I hope you choke on it.

3: The Final Battle

Picture unrelated but hilarious

So investigating the abandoned house could have gone better, so you decide maybe its best to get on with this ‘saving the word’ business. After a convoluted web of events involving riding a dragon and going to Norse Heaven, you encounter the one who saved you, back at Helgen;

Alduin.

Armed with nothing but your wits, your myriad assortment of spells,  and FBGM you charge. Oh, your also fighting with the three people who originally sealed Alduin. There’s that.

After breaking through the dark mist he’s cast, the true fight begins. Yeah, the troll fight was pretty boss, but Alduin dwarfs it, in scale, awe, and the fact you get eaten the first 5 times you try. But you persist! Mainly because if you don’t, I don’t get to finish this article.

After a long, loud battle, you jump on top of the beasts head and bring the unholy might of FBGM on its skull. It thrashes before finally submitting to your valor. The deed is done. Skyrim is safe.

Oh, except for the whole ‘Rebels and Imperials are still at war’ thing. Maybe you should have thought of that while you were weeping over the death of a computer program.

2: The Siege Of Solitude

Angry at my very true comments of your ineptitude, you go back and kill some people in the name of Ulfric Stormcloak. Forts are captured until you finally reach what you’ve been searching for: Solitude.

The battle is fierce. Meteors burn the ground, arrows impact knees, and cries for mercy rip through the air. But you push through, ultimately reaching the head of the Imperials; General Tullius. Even his highest ranking comrade cannot best you, and after a long speech about something-or-other, more fighting ensues, and you get to deal the final blow to Tullius.

However. because your 12-years old, you simply must crouch over his wounded body a couple of times, and really  prove on how much better you are him. Then you smash his face with a hammer, because why the hell not?

1: Coming Home To The Wife

It has been a long journey. You have bested dragons, freed Skyrim, and proved yourself to be the greatest warrior Tamriel has ever seen. Battered and bloody, you return home.

Instead of walking into a gang of cutthroats or a sabre-toothed tiger like you are accustomed,  you enter your home to a smile; Your wife, Camilla, welcomes you home. You regale her with the tales of your latest exploits, but the moon is rising. You sit for a meal of pheasant, then sleep.

You arise, dreading the day. It is time to depart again. You begin packing the necessary supplies. Before you depart, she gives you a home-cooked meal for the road. As you say your goodbyes, you push open the door to journey anew.

Because in Skyrim, the journey is never over. There are always chests to be looted, downtrodden to defend, and mead to drink.

You may have saved Skyrim, Dovahkiin, but remember, there is always another stone left unturned.

2 Comments

Leave A Reply
  1. Bryant M. says
    March 8, 2012, 4:33 PM

    That…was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!! Except, what happened to the part about the chickens? If you played skyrim you should know that you never…ever…EVER, kill the chickens!! ha ha

    Reply
    • K. Knight says
      March 10, 2012, 4:10 PM

      I never killed the chickens because….why would I be attacking chickens?

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Facebook Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com