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Rage Mode Activated, Ep. 1: QWOP Edition

   Where can I play it: Here(Bring a friend for the two-player version!)

What is it: “QWOP is a 2008 ragdoll-based Flash game created by Bennett Foddy. Players control an athlete named “Qwop” using only the Q, W, O and P keys.”-Wikipedia

QWOP seemed really simple at first. To move, you just press Q and W for thighs, and O and P for calves. Very simple in theory, right? Now go play the game if you haven’t already.

If you are like me( and the dozens of people I had play this game over the week), the only thing you accomplished was flailing around like an idiot. Allegedly, your goal is to run 100 meters, but realistically most of you won’t make it past five. I literally told people that, provided they ran all 100 metres, they could keep my laptop. No one made it past three meters.

I guarantee you maybe four people got to this screen while legit running.

The popularity of his game probably started when the ever so subtle Ray William Johnson made a video about how stupid impossible it is. And he’s actually correct. I can say with relative certainty that this is the stupidest game I have ever played in my life. All I have to do is run forward, but this freaking [Insert the worst insult you can think of ] seems to just have mild seizures before returning to the starting line, like he’s in some unfortunate track runner’s hell. If you’ve got time to kill, type into youtube ‘qwop rage quit‘ and you’ll get to treat yourself to a good hour at least of people really sucking at this game.

Verdict: If you have someone you really hate, show them this game. Offer them your significant other and all the money you will ever make in your life, if they run the full 100m. Laugh as they fail, time and time again.

Next week(er, this week), fun with wheel chairs.

If you have a pointlessly difficult game that you’d like me to try out, by all means leave a comment and inform me.

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